“True gender equality is actually perceived as inequality. A group that is made up of 50% women is perceived as being mostly women. A situation that is perfectly equal between men and women is perceived as being biased in favor of women.
And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been a married woman who kept her family name. I have had students hold that up as proof of my “sexism.”
My own brother told me that he could never marry a woman who kept her name because “everyone would know who ruled that relationship.” Perfect equality – my husband keeps his name and I keep mine – is held as a statement of superiority on my part.”—
Also the study where they had women and men talking in a discussion and when women spoke around 30% of the time, men perceived them as dominating the discussion. They didn’t consider it “equal” until something like 5-10% of women talking.
That’s the thing, our oppressors don’t understand equality because they’ve always been privileged over us. If that privilege shrinks in the slightest and we start gaining more rights they take it as a personal attack to their ‘equality’. Where their idea of equality always has them in the dominant position of power.
I feel like a lot of white cis men, especially in congress, know this and are actively trying to keep their power structure intact. But I also think a ton of privileged people (white/cis/male/etc.) legit do not understand how equality works.
I had a professor tell me gender doesn’t matter in his field, which is the American Revolution. Maybe 20% (and I am being very generous) are women but gender doesn’t matter because there are women in the field. Thats equality for you folks, when your field is dominated by men but there are a few token women everyone knows about!
As for last names, my uncle told me if a woman loved her husband she will take his last name. If she does not take his last name she is dishonoring him and does not really love him.
“When we too are armed and trained, we can convince men that we have hands, feet, and a heart like yours; and although we may be delicate and soft, some men who are delicate are also strong; and others, coarse and harsh, are cowards. Women have not yet realized this, for if they should decide to do so, they would be able to fight you until death; and to prove that I speak the truth, amongst so many women, I will be the first to act, setting an example for them to follow.”—Veronica Franco (1546-1491). (via fyeahwomenshistory)